noone reads this junk

wow, everyone and their mom really does have a myspace. lots of people from the past that i want to talk to, but i am too afraid to face. what am i afraid of? maybe that people will be like "uhm who the hell are you?" or worse, be polite and pretend to remember me and search all over my myspace account to see if they really do know me. i mean, you cant really look at a myspace and think you are seeing their innermost thoughts on a blog or feel you have a connection with people because you have similar interests. okay, for some people it does work that way and i know a few, but most are not like that. many people have changed and many stay the same. the more i look the more i find people i feel it is too late to approch them, after all this time of not touching base. i mean, really, do people even want to be saught out as much as i do? maybe i am thinking this way because the holidays are here and i have that urge to seek out and conquer my demons before yet another year goes by with no accoplishment. i forced everyone away and it is not too hard to believe that no one will seek me out because they are afraid to get burned again. i am sorry, and i feel like i am a better person now to finally raise my head.to face all of you postively and truthfully. i want to see the girls again and i want to be friends again. i understand the hard feelings, but i wish someone would tell me weather they do or not. i have one love that is full of hope and one life full of regret, and i dont want it to end here, with all this anger and regret. i am half full, and i believe it is time to fill the glass.(remember all those times we watched this movie and acted it out? i still leave all of your parts for you guys to sing)