shuffle your feet (these sour times)

Do you ever feel like you are being watched? If you are watching me, don't be shy, please tell me. I just want to know. These are steps we take to fill the gaps between us. No matter how much you think I hate you or you hate me, let us have closure. I was standing on your block, hoping you would come out and play. You could have come out or thrown rocks. You did neither. What does that say about me? What does that say about you? I cannot just walk away.

that keeps you tied in the basement...

My first day of real college was very nice :).
I have a class with a good friend.
I still feel empty and frantic, but I think it will subside.
I confided in one of my professors about my very personal altercations with painting.
This brought to light a few startling and heartbreaking memories that I seem to have forgotten.
Perhaps I need to go back into absent mode and drift off for a while to aid my creativity.
I tend to get pained in my speech and dark in my art.
Do not be alarmed.
I will come back soon.
There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled with love, so I often temporarily fill it with darker things to ease the pain.
I live my life constantly in the shadow of myself.
I see the ugly shape in the mirror behind a beautiful creature that never shows her face.
Taunting me with her spontaneous wit and whimsical outlook on life.
Everyone wants the center stage starlet, not the timid artist.
So I hide my brushes and shed my stained smock.
Yet you can still smell the solvent and see the paint under my nails.
No matter how hard I scrub.




...so lock your kids up safe tonight.